It’s only October, right? But Back-Up Boy (BUB) IMs me and asks if The Boy and I would like to go on a weekend vacation slated to take place in January. I’m flattered to be invited but my suspicions were immediately turned on….

There’s not a shadow of a doubt that it’s not a trip with BUB’s original friends (Game Boy, Girlfight Girl (GFG), et al.) because in that case, I would not be invited. So I asked who else is going. He responds: The Boy’s BFF#2 and The Boy’s BFF#3.

I fired off an IM to The Boy and teased him that BUB is poaching his friends. The Boy thought it was weird that two of his BFFs would be part of BUB’s trip but was down for it.

Then I asked who the girls were. They are the two party-hardy girls BUB met at a singles event now half a year ago. Another girl, from her name, is desi.

There is a convoluted story about Girl1 and BUB kind of dating but she’s allergic to commitment so he started hanging out with her best friend, Girl2, and even went on a boy-girl-boy-girl trip with Girl2. To make things more convoluted, Girl1 was the long-time girlfriend of The Boy’s BFF#3, who is going on the January trip.

Even The Boy thinks it’s weird. The guys are friends of his and instead of his female BFFs who are BFFs with the male BFFs, BUB has selected a different group of girls. It looks to me like he’s trying to be the bridge. Is it because he feels too deep into those girls’ friends and needs to re-inforce with a presence of his own friends (who are actually The Boy’s friends)? Why not invite his own friends from the Game Boy and GFG crew? Would they be less accepting of the (partying) (single) girls?

BFF#3 and BFF#2 are down for any kind of adventure as, it seems, are those three girls. The Boy and I would be the only couple and we’re quite staid and unadventurous compared to the rest. BUB really isn’t that party-hardy but I get bad vibes that he’s morphing for a girl.

When it came down to it, The Boy doesn’t think he will have a good time with the group assembled (his BFF#1 is not present, nor are other BFFs to neutralize BFF#3 whom he doesn’t really like). While The Boy likes to see his own female friends dressing up, acting wild, and partying, I think he’s scared of these girls he does not know and has preconceptions against due to their association with the swaggering BFF#3. When I suggested that I go alone, he’s unhappy about the situation. Called it a singles trip and told me to go ahead and act single. Finally getting my own invitation to go on a trip (i.e., not through his friends) is satisfying but I admit that something’s just not right with the group.

I want to tell BUB to spend more time with wholesome people because I can see these girls pepper his Facebook wall with really childish comments. Can we say, “Internet/SMS generation”? But if I told him that, what is my motivation? Is it true concern for his mental and emotional well-being? Is it because I learned from BUB’s Facebook videos of the girls that they are immigrants and it makes me feel as if I’m losing the cultural competition with BUB? Or am I just jealous because I feel like my job sucks and my own boyfriend is not as spontaneous as his BFFs?

So, I’m not going on the trip. I didn’t need to tell BUB or to remind The Boy that I don’t know what my work and financial situation will be like in a mere few months….

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